I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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