Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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