every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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