So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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