you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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