you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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