Kiss
Puke
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i believe in u and ur pee
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
