wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
