We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize