I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
