I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize