My room smells like vodka and shame
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
