And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
