Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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