Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Houston, we have a blender
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
