As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What a dumb baby whore.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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