dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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