i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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