he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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