Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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