your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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