You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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