What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
