Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
