im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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