i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize