I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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