we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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