i wish my penis had a tongue
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize