I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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