Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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