Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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