I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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