i think my mom watched the whole time
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
