Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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