the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
