HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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