You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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