I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
