If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
