it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
