ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
