Quick, to the slutcave!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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