I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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