Everything about him screamed your future.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.