I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges