wrigley field is MILF paradise
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.