talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
