your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
