Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
two words...techno handjob
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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