She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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