maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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