I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
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