I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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