dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
