Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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