i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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