I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So much Jack, so little girl.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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