Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
