6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
