HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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