I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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