it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
